Sunday, January 8, 2017

Loving Your Hubby and Ex At The Same Time

I still love my ex husband. Yes, you read that right. I may lose a few blog followers and friends with this post, but there it is.

16 years ago, today in the basement of a courthouse in Athens, Georgia, I married my first husband, Jim - and I loved him. Circumstances beyond my control made our life together difficult, and 4 years later, we got a dissolution.

I still love my ex husband. I will always think of him as my friend, and part of my family. I care about him, pray for him, and want the best for him. Sometimes, out of the blue a memory of him or us together, will come to mind and make me smile. (There are sad memories too, our life together wasn't very easy, but the good memories are what I choose to remember.)

Now before you get all worked up over the fact that me, a married wife, would write such a thing, never mind the fact that that is how I truly feel.... let me tell you something else. 

I am deeply in love with my husband, Stephen. I love him with a passion that I never knew could exist between two people. He is my happiness. I'd lay down my life for him. I trust him with my life - completely. He has my respect, and utmost devotion. My complete love. He is mine, the keeper of my heart. My love, always and forever!

Just because things didn't work out between my first husband and myself, doesn't mean that I stopped loving him. The opposite is true, I still love him. Divorce doesn't always have to be a bad thing.... it doesn't have to end in hate, fighting, or arguments. It doesn't mean that you have to throw out all the good that was there, (no mater how little or much it was). It simply means that part of your life ended.

I've heard it said that "If two past lovers can remain friends, either they were never in love or they still are." Well I'm not sure about that, because I can't speak for my ex, but I know there was, and always will be love on my side of that story.

My life is blessed more than I ever thought possible. Yes, I still love my ex husband. I'll never forget him, or the memories we had - that was a part of my life. Love doesn't just disappear. But, I have learned not to hold onto the memories so tightly that you have no room to grasp for something new. Something better. Something life changing.

"Life happens. Things end. Memories stay. Better things come."  -RK

Stephen has my heart. He is the one I do life with, the one I dream with, the one I tell my secrets too, the father of my children, my provider, the one I lay my head on. My lover. My greatest blessing. My best friend. The one I love.

There's different kinds of love, but I'm here to tell you, you can always make room in your heart to love someone. And sometimes, it's possible to love your ex at the same time as you love your spouse. I'm living proof it can be done.

One man, I will always love and care for....
the other man is my Love - and my Everything!


  1. Hi Rhoda.....Like your blog and comments. It takes nerve and courage to say you love your ex, and many will think this is wrong. Love does cast out all fear and bad feelings. Life goes on and we must accept the way our lives have unfolded. I have similar feelings about my first marriage and several other loves I have had. I also have several version of the original Basic H classic on the farm. A local greenhouse up here in Winnipeg orders the big barrel size from the States, I found out.....


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