Somehow life always pushes 'moms' needs into the closet..... the door gets shut, life gets busy, and then years later, mom realizes she doesn't know who she is anymore. Well, that is my story.
Looking back, I was just a baby when my first baby was born....and I became a mom. I was 17 when I got pregnant.... I had just finished high school and had not even thought about what I wanted to do with my life.... I was living on my own, in a one bedroom efficiency apartment. My goal in life was short term - pay the rent, keep gas in my car, and food in the fridge.
I never really wanted to be a mom - it just happened. And after marriage, step kids, divorce, and a second marriage, I went on to have two more kids......
Our oldest daughter had a lot of health problems requiring lots of tests, doctors appointments, lab work and children hospitals over a five year period (you can read more about it here).
Our second child is special needs and has many learning disabilities, some of which are PDD-NOS, dyslexia, dyscalculia, delayed speech and language, the inability to retain and recall info, along with multiple slow learning disabilities and disorders. He has had two surgeries when he was small, and had emergency brain surgery this year and has had lots of testing, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and special ed, which has meant lots of appointments.
Our youngest (a Shaklee Baby) has been the perfect picture of health (so far) for which we are thankful!
But, with the stress of worrying, research, and all the running around I did for my kids- somewhere, I lost myself. I no longer took the time to paint my nails, dress up nice, spend time alone, or take care of myself. Somewhere along the way, I let myself go. I put on 100+ lbs. of excess weight, and became grumpy and miserable. I was always tired, unhappy, and hated who I had become.... I felt like my old self was gone.... shut in a closet, never to be seen again.....
Until, one day I had enough.... I decided to do something about it.... This year I am taking care of me. I have had three surgeries to fix/help medical issues. I'm losing weight, dressing up for the hubby, painting my nails, having me time, and becoming a better person. - I'm opening the closet door and finding the new and improved 'old' me!