Sunday, August 27, 2017

Taking Care of Me

Somehow life always pushes 'moms' needs into the closet..... the door gets shut, life gets busy, and then years later, mom realizes she doesn't know who she is anymore. Well, that is my story.

Looking back, I was just a baby when my first baby was born....and I became a mom. I was 17 when I got pregnant.... I had just finished high school and had not even thought about what I wanted to do with my life.... I was living on my own, in a one bedroom efficiency apartment. My goal in life was short term - pay the rent, keep gas in my car, and food in the fridge.

I never really wanted to be a mom - it just happened. And after marriage, step kids, divorce, and a second marriage, I went on to have two more kids......

Our oldest daughter had a lot of health problems requiring lots of tests, doctors appointments, lab work and children hospitals over a five year period (you can read more about it here).

Our second child is special needs and has many learning disabilities, some of which are PDD-NOS, dyslexia, dyscalculia, delayed speech and language, the inability to retain and recall info, along with multiple slow learning disabilities and disorders. He has had two surgeries when he was small, and had emergency brain surgery this year and has had lots of testing, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and special ed, which has meant lots of appointments. 

Our youngest (a Shaklee Baby) has been the perfect picture of health (so far) for which we are thankful!

But, with the stress of worrying, research, and all the running around I did for my kids- somewhere, I lost myself. I no longer took the time to paint my nails, dress up nice, spend time alone, or take care of myself. Somewhere along the way, I let myself go. I put on 100+ lbs. of excess weight, and became grumpy and miserable. I was always tired, unhappy, and hated who I had become.... I felt like my old self was gone.... shut in a closet, never to be seen again.....

Until, one day I had enough.... I decided to do something about it.... This year I am taking care of me. I have had three surgeries to fix/help medical issues. I'm losing weight, dressing up for the hubby, painting my nails, having me time, and becoming a better person. - I'm opening the closet door and finding the new and improved 'old' me!

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Enjoy: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women Book Review

Enjoy: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner

This book is from Focus on the Family. It's a good book, but I honestly felt like it is written for someone who is not yet married, or who is in a sexless or unfulfilled marriage.

Although I agree with the majority of the authors writings... it simply does not apply to me. You see, I've been happily married for 12 years to an amazing hubby who always puts me first in the bedroom. He is loving, understanding, spontaneous, adventurous, gentle and very respectful of me. 

I won the lotto, when it comes to my man!

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through Tyndale, book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Monday, August 7, 2017

  A Typical Day in My Post Surgery Life

Let me preface this by saying- my hubby and I are research geeks. We research a subject until there is nothing left of it.... dead. Never to rise again..... which sometimes can be a good thing, and other times, lets just say, not so much.

That's when after I had major surgery (that I had researched for over a year)..... I was completely taken by surprise. I mean, I knew that there would be pain and that I'd need someone to help me, but I honestly never expected it to be this hard, this painful, and this much fatigue.

With that said, I did have an emergency second surgery 12 hours later due to internal bleeding and I'm sure that is partly to blame for some of it. The Doctors said having the emergency surgery really set me back.

 I was supposed to come home with a pain pump, but they had to remove it during the second surgery.  Anytime, some one has as much internal bleeding as I did, it causes excruciating pain. I also lost so much blood, that I had to have multiple blood transfusions and that alone can cause severe fatigue. Lastly, having two major surgeries withing 12 hours of each other is hard on anyone and can cause extra pain along with other issues..... so while, I did the research, I was not prepared for the extra complications that came with my surgery.

So.... back to my typical day. (Please note: the following is real - if too much information grosses you out, you may not want to read the following)

*Wake up. Lay in bed, unable to move because of the pain, feeling like you need to pee.

*Wake up hubby and have him pull you up to a sitting position, while you cry from the pain.

*Sit on the side of the bed, sip on water and put on your glasses.

*Have hubby pull you to a standing position. Cry in his arms while saying 'ouch' for the hundredth time.

*Hubby helps you walk to the bathroom and sit on the toilet.  (This is not as easy as it sounds and takes a lot longer to go then normal.)

*After trying to wipe yourself for 5 min, crying from the pain and from the humiliation of having your hubby wipe and clean up your backside.

*Afterward, he pulls you to your feet, helps you wash up, and consoles you by saying that its okay and he loves you.

*He then helps you out to the kitchen where he gets you a drink, pain meds, and helps me walk. (The walking hurts, but it helps keep blood clots from forming.)

*Hubby helps me into the chair/sofa or bed... getting me a sheet, blanket, pillows, and alternating ice packs and the heating pad.
This same scene plays out over and over -12 times in the next 24 hrs.

And that my friend is what goes on in a typical day in my life right now.

Research is great in theory, but when it comes to individual pain or how each individual will react.... it's really not all its cracked up to be...

However, for all the research I did.... there was one thing that I overlooked.....

 That one thing is having an awesome, loving, and supporting hubby who will stay by your side, taking care of my every need and taking care of the kids and the house. You don't know how good of a man you have until he will wipe and clean up your backside and still love you just the same.

Having these surgeries has defiantly kicked my butt.... but with my hubby's help....I'm gonna kick right back! My health is far too important than for me to let it get to me.

Note: We have chosen NOT to discuss or to explain my surgeries with anyone, as in the past, discussing my health has caused unnecessary drama. I, Rhoda do suffer from multiple auto-immune disorders, cancer, and chronic stress. The doctor said without this surgery, I would only have a 3% chance at going on to live a healthier life style, so for me and my family's sake, this has been the right thing to do. We will not apologize for not explaining!

Update 08/16/17: I am 2 weeks out from my surgeries and am happy to say that I am slowly getting better.  Two days ago, I took my first shower by myself (with the help of a shower stool). I still need help occasionally and still cannot do anything around the house, but I am caring for myself now which feels good. The pain has also gotten better, I still regularly take prescription and over the counter pain meds, but I am starting to space them out... hopefully I can get off of them completely in another week or two.

If you have prayed, sent a card,  gave a gift, brought food, cared for our family, or supported our family business during this time, we want to say thank you! We appreciate you!


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