When your Family Isn't Your Family Anymore

I grew up as the middle kid out of seven. There are 6 yrs between my oldest sibling and me, and 9 yrs between my youngest sibling and me. There were 2 boys and 5 girls. I have very fond memories when I was little.

 I remember our family trips.... I loved playing the car game with Dad at night while everyone else was asleep..... it was my favorite part of traveling.

 I loved going to the auction barn with dad -especially if we come home with a baby lamb or other animals.

I loved the wintertime when Mom would read stories, with all of us kids piled up beside her on the sofa.

We spent a lot of Sundays at G'pa Stumps house- playing games and eating popcorn and ice cream.

I loved spending the night at my G'pa Fricks... G'pa had two nicknames for me... 'Goldilocks' and 'woodchuck'.

I loved going to church, singing at the nursing home, and bible study- because it meant that I would spend time with my best friend- she was great. I loved sleeping over at her house.

I especially loved Christmas when all the aunts, uncles, and cousins would spend the whole weekend at Grandpa's house....

Growing up, us kids were never close, but life was good... we played outside, rode our bikes into town, played with the neighbor kids, and worked hard. We lived in the country and had 15 acres to roam. We loved finding treasures in Dads junkyard.

When I was 12, it all changed. My parents took us away from our church, our friends, aunts, and uncles.  We stopped spending Sundays at G'pas house.... our family was strained. Us kids didn't get along.

Through my teen years, I really struggled to be connected to anyone. I ran away from home at the age of 13. My closest sister moved out of state when I was 14. My oldest sister married and moved to MS. My older brother moved into his own house. I hated my three youngest siblings....  with 6 and 9 yrs younger than me, they always got on my nerves. My parents moved out of state and I moved into my first efficiency apartment at the age of 16.

Life drastically changed... over the next few years I had very little contact with family. My best friend deserted me. The church that I had grown up in wanted nothing to do with me. I was an outcast to pretty much everyone, but especially my family - my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. I got pregnant, got married, had step kids, moved a lot, and got divorced.

Then life changed for the better. I got saved, made new friends, met an awesome guy, (my hubby) and got married.

Through all of this, my family was mostly absent... I saw my parents once (sometimes twice) a year. I did keep in contact with my sister closest in age by phone for a few years, but she lived out of state and after I got married, she had nothing more to do with me.

Two years after I got married, my parents moved an hour away from us, back to the area I grew up. Most of my siblings also moved back to the same area and we started seeing each other more.

 Hubby and I had 2 more kids and while my parents have always been wonderful grandparents to my kids, my relationship with them has pretty much stayed the same.

All the family gets together for Thanksgiving and Christmas and a few times in the summer.... It's like everyone tries to get along... like they want it to be one big happy family, but in reality, everyone is putting on a front to try to be something that we have never been.

My extended family is no longer my family.... we have all gone in different directions, we don't have much in common with each other, we never did. It's not who we were and it's not what we are now.

Has your family dynamic changed or has your extended family stayed connected?

Please note: I do love my extended family. I will always be there for my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews.... that won't change.