Why We Don't Answer The Phone

I have always hated talking on the phone. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with the person at the other end, I just find it a horrible tool for communicating with. 

I have many auto immune diseases and a rare cancer which are all caused by stress. A few years back, my doctor advised me to delete my personal fb friends and to not answer the phone to help reduce stress. I tried his advise and it helps, so here's the thing... I don't answer the phone anymore for anyone unless it's my hubby or my kids.

If you are calling for my business, leave a detailed voicemail and I will call you back at my convenience. If someone is dying or its an emergency, call my hubby's number. If you want me, send a text or email. If you do leave a voicemail, but don't say what you need, I will not return the call. It's just not that important.

Communication is a wonderful thing when done right. But I think the whole phone calling fiasco is not a good way to communicate.

So, here's some reasons why some of us (and why I personally) choose not to answer the phone.

Phone Calls Are Presumptuous 

When someone calls you, they're assuming two things:

1. They're needs are more important than your needs

2. You have the time and don't mind being interrupted

On many occasions one or both of these might be true. But more often than not, the caller comes off as being selfish - even a little insulting - to the person being called. If it's so important, just shoot me a text. Text messages are virtually guaranteed to be read within a few minutes, and they create a lot more flexibility for everyone.

Phone Calls Are Time Consuming

Do you know how much time people spend on howdy-do's everyday? The average person spends over 8 minutes a day just talking about the weather. Add in what the kids have been up to, what you're going to be doing this weekend, or whatever else, and you've just spent ten minutes talking about nothing.

We don't want to answer your phone calls, because there's no telling if doing so will take ten seconds, twenty minutes, or longer.

Phone Calls Are Inefficient

When you use social media, texting, and emails, you tell people what you think/need/want, or you give an update. That's it. If there's any follow up that needs to happen, it will be handled accordingly.

All of these messages take less than a minute to compose and send off. Phone calls, on the other hand, will nearly always take at least several minutes. Why spend several minutes on something when you can do it in a few seconds?

Phone Calls Are Annoying

How many times have you seen someone calling you and gone "Ugh" or "Who is this?" If we're being honest, phone calls are annoying! Most often, the initial reaction to a call will almost always be negative.

Phone Calls Are Stressful

One call isn't a big deal, but the shear number of phone calls that a lot of people get every day is enough to drown someone! Phone calls can be a large stressor day-to-day (-especially to someone with health issues like myself.) Every time that phone rings - at work or at home. You have no control over your day, or your life for that matter. People would rather text or email because they can do it entirely on their own time, and remove that mountain of stress in the process.

Phone Calls Are Unnecessary

You call someone to communicate quickly, right? There are literally hundreds of other ways and apps through which you can communicate quickly - and do it faster. How many ways do we need to do the same thing?

Other than being able to say more than is needed, there aren't many advantages to phone calls.

Phone Calls Aren't Private
How many times have you been on a call and had to either whisper, move to a different room, or ask the person to hang up and text you because you didn't want anyone listening to your conversation?

Nobody enjoys that kind of anxiety, of feeling like someone who shouldn't be involved is listening to every word you say. (I remember as a kid, my mom would always take the phone to her room and shut the door so we couldn', hear. I hated it and try to not do that with my kids.)

Or how many times are you in line at the grocery store and the lady in front of you talking about her job or how she getting her nails done, or what she's cooking for supper.... sorry, but I really don't care and I definitely don't want to hear all the personal details of your life. That's just rude.

Phone Calls Aren't Personal

If you want to reach your friends, you text. To schedule a meeting with an acquaintance, you email. If you're a salesman trying to hit his numbers, you call. 
Simple as that.

Phone Calls Are Controlling Our Freedom

When someone calls you, it disrupts whatever you're working on. Phone calls take control away from you and give it to the person calling. If you accept the call, you are accepting the caller's control over you and your schedule. 

So when we don't answer your call, it's not because we are trying to be rude. It's because we want to keep things under their control, and make the most out of our day.

Long story short.... Phone Calls Are Disruptive

At no point in your day is taking a phone call not disruptive to whatever else you're working on. Phone calls are rude, intrusive, awkward, unnatural, interruptive, distracting, disruptive, and completely throw off your groove. 

Text beats that. I rarely answer my phone, often forget to check voicemail, and can take a shockingly long time to return phone calls.

The telephone has a very rude tendency to interrupt people. When I was growing up, the rule was, Don’t call anyone after 10 p.m. Now the rule is, Don’t call anyone. Ever.

Don't call me. I won't call you.