SRKindredSpirits

Happy 13th Birthday to my beautiful Adilayia Rose! It's hard to believe my baby is a teenager! Being your momma has been extra special! I've always said God knew that we needed you, when he brought you into our family! When you were little, your joy for life was unmistakable! Your honesty and courage makes me so proud. I hope your determination to always do the right thing will guide you through life You are so much like your daddy. You grew up way to fast! Happy Birthday Baby Girl! - mom You didn’t make me a mama. Your pregnancy wasn't planned. You didn’t get a baby shower, or any type of celebration. Not as many people visited you at the hospital as your older siblings, and very few came to our house when we first got home. You didn’t get a new car seat, or a new baby swing. Most of your clothes are hand-me-downs. Your monthly milestone pictures were late by a day or two, and I have far less bump pictures from my pregnancy with you. Most of your toys come well-loved from

I'm human.... big shocker, I know.... No, seriously, I struggle with forgiving as much as anyone. But today, 2 Timothy 4:14 stood out to me and it made an impact... I told the hubby and kids, from now on, when ever I feel wronged by someone, I am gonna say "...the Lord reward him according to his works." So many times, we hold grudges against people, fretting over how we've been wronged, etc. When in reality, if we just leave it in God's hands, we can know that God will take care of it fully... "Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: You also must beware of him..." - 2 Timothy 4: 14-15a It is a certainty of life, that sooner or later we will be hurt by someone else. Sometimes people hurt us accidently, other times it is intentional. Sometimes they hurt us by their actions, other times it is by their words. At times, the wounds are superficial and heal quickly and at other times they are deep and scar us fo

Today has been hard for me.... there were alot of tears.  I don't like getting old, and I don't like that people I care about are dying... our friend and neighbor passed away this week.  Brooklyn_speaks  went home to be with Jesus today....  another friend of ours is losing his battle with ALS and got his feeding tube put in this month... I feel overwhelmed that for me, I know my place in that line will come sooner than later.  My death sentence makes me angry... I have kids that need me. I want to travel and see the world. I want to watch my kids grow up... to see my grandkids and great-grandkids. I want to enjoy retirement with my hubby. I want to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary together. I want to do something good with my life. I get tired of fighting with doctors, getting pricked with needles and the ever changing doses of medication. I'm tired of being exhausted every single day. I feel guilty for just about everything I do, and everything I don't do. I fee

  Christmas looks different for our family this year.... it's our first Christmas without Stephen's Grandpa Chuck and my Dad. No more playing games and talking/laughing with siblings and in-laws. No more taffy pulls, Christmas caroling or cookie making....   My hubby, kids, and I are gonna make new memories and have a wonderful joy filled Christmas! We will start new traditions, and enjoy Christmas with people who love and care for us! Is it sad? Yes. Do I wish it could be different? Yes.   Sometimes the truth hurts, but it's still the truth. So yes, Christmas will definitely be different now that Dad is gone. He  wasn't very big on Christmas, or gifts anyway.... it just wasn't his thing.. . but I'll still miss it. Most of all, I'll miss him. And it makes me wonder.... 🎵 -  https://youtu.be/cBtZY633AjI  - 🎵  … Is the snow falling down on the streets of gold Are the mansions all covered in white Are you singing with angels silent night I wonder.....  what

I drive for Ford, as a dealership driver. I do dealer trades (my favorite), dealer buys, lease returns, pick up auction cars, and deliver cars to their new owners..... sometimes we even go straight to the Ford plant and pick them up as they come off the assembly line. We drive all over.... mainly in Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Kentucky, and Michigan. But sometimes as far as Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Missouri, Iowa, and Florida... Sometimes I drive one way with another driver.  (My favorite driving partner is Joe. We have gotten to be best friends over the years, and have a great time together.) Sometimes, its just me by myself for the whole trip. I absolutely love driving! Driving is exciting. I love the adventure of where the road might take me. Of not knowing how my day will go. I love seeing the beautiful landscape and the sunsets. I love the quiet solitude of being in the car alone with my thoughts. I love driving on wide open interstates, in congested traffic lanes, and on narrow

Happy Heavenly Father's Day, Dad! I know you were never big on holidays, hugs, and all the mushy stuff... neither am I, but I'm laying in bed wide awake, with thoughts running through my mind, so here goes.... I sure wouldn't wish you back from heaven, but I miss you more then I ever thought I would. I heard this song on the radio the other day, driving home from Cleveland for work, and I couldn't help but think of you... "Better Off There" -by The Browns  Its no secret that we weren't close before you got sick, but those last five to six months, we had some of the best talks and the time spent, just me and you, gave me some of the best memories of us together!  I loved the fact that you kept your humor... Our trip to the Nurology center in Middletown (you getting your way with the truck, getting lost, eating corn chips and cold lunch meat sandwiches, and shoping at Walmart), and driving home from the hospital (even though you kept saying I was driving sou

My husband listens to Jarrin Jackson on YouTube , and the other day I overheard this statement:  "Neutrality is a myth....."  It stopped me dead in my tracks. What a dynamic and profound statement spoken in truth.  This saying has been playing over and over in my head since then and has been a main subject of my hubby and my conversations. Let me say it again... "Neutrality is a myth." You see, when some of my siblings and mom was fighting over my dads care and who dad chose to be his Medical POA, there were a few siblings who would say that they were 'neutral' ...that they were not picking a side, which ultimately made matters worse, because they would not stand up for what was right or truth.  "There is no such thing as neutral. There is no position, no placeholder, that doesn't carry with it some subjectivity based on our experiences in the world." My hubby and I have always believed that life is black and white. There is always two sides a

I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer on this day, the day my Grandma Stump died in 2012.... Somedays, I feel like I'm just waiting to die. It's the elephant in the room that no one talks about.... but it's always there. Every. Single. Day. I've watched a close friend die from cancer the same year I was diagnosed. I've known of so many people who have lost the battle.... some young, some old. And I just wonder.... where do I fall in line at? Two months ago, I was by my Dads side when he passed away from cancer. I watched as he took his last breath. The memory plays over and over in my mind. Almost like a dream. We knew it was the end, but yet, one second he was breathing and the next second, there was no breath. He was gone.  "We are wired to run away from death, but dying is a part of life." I can't help but wonder when my time to die is coming.  Will I be able to see all my kids graduate and get married?  Will my special needs son have someone t

  I know just about enough to be dangerous.... that right now is my whole take on religion.  You see I was raised very conservative ( think Amish, without the buggy ), and was taught conservative beliefs my whole life.... and there was alot of good that came from being raised that way. But, there was also alot of bad.... as my husband says, "if he wasn't already a Christian, seeing the way my conservative family and churches I was raised in act, he wouldn't want anything to do with God if that's how he was introduced to Christianity." Which is sad, but I agree with him 100%.   I joined an Independent Fundemental, KJV Baptist church ( which is pretty conservative ) and though I would say my belief aligns with a conservative Baptist, I am tired of the church politics, rules, and people acting one way on Sunday and another through the week.... the 'whatever' attitude of the Christian faith is off putting to me...... On the other hand, I was rebellious in my