Posts

Showing posts from April, 2021

Waiting To Die

Image
I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer on this day, the day my Grandma Stump died in 2012.... Somedays, I feel like I'm just waiting to die. It's the elephant in the room that no one talks about.... but it's always there. Every. Single. Day. I've watched a close friend die from cancer the same year I was diagnosed. I've known of so many people who have lost the battle.... some young, some old. And I just wonder.... where do I fall in line at? Two months ago, I was by my Dads side when he passed away from cancer. I watched as he took his last breath. The memory plays over and over in my mind. Almost like a dream. We knew it was the end, but yet, one second he was breathing and the next second, there was no breath. He was gone.  "We are wired to run away from death, but dying is a part of life." I can't help but wonder when my time to die is coming.  Will I be able to see all my kids graduate and get married?  Will my special needs son have someone t

Not In, But Not Out....

Image
  I know just about enough to be dangerous.... that right now is my whole take on religion.  You see I was raised very conservative ( think Amish, without the buggy ), and was taught conservative beliefs my whole life.... and there was alot of good that came from being raised that way. But, there was also alot of bad.... as my husband says, "if he wasn't already a Christian, seeing the way my conservative family and churches I was raised in act, he wouldn't want anything to do with God if that's how he was introduced to Christianity." Which is sad, but I agree with him 100%.   I joined an Independent Fundemental, KJV Baptist church ( which is pretty conservative ) and though I would say my belief aligns with a conservative Baptist, I am tired of the church politics, rules, and people acting one way on Sunday and another through the week.... the 'whatever' attitude of the Christian faith is off putting to me...... On the other hand, I was rebellious in my

Organ Donation

Image
"Leave a legacy of life - be an organ donor!" Are you registered as an organ donor?  I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I have always wanted to be an organ donor, but I was always scared to register or put it on my licence.... somewhere along the line I was told ( and believed ) the myth that if I was an organ donor and was in a car wreck, or hospital, that EMTs, doctors, nurses, etc. would not give me the care I needed and instead, kill me prematurely to use my organs for someone else.  It sounds silly now, but that is the #1 most common myth surrounding organ donations.  But here's the thing... even if you are a registered organ donor, y our life always comes first. Doctors work hard to save every patient’s life, but sometimes there is a complete and irreversible loss of brain function. The patient is declared clinically and legally dead. Only then is donation an option. So, the more I think on it, the more I want to chose to be an organ donor.   I want my life to mean s