Saved By Grace

My dad was diagnosed as having Glioblastoma in September 2020. It is the fastest growing brain tumor there is. 

Its hard to watch the dad I knew get weaker and weaker, but at the same time it has given us time to be together, time to talk, time to laugh, time to cry together, and time just to be. 

He has told me more about his childhood, his teen years, his work, his marriage, church issues, and life decisions than I never dreamed of knowing. We have talked about our past relationship (or lack of it), our reasoning at the time, and what we wish we'd have done different. We have talked about Heaven and God and the Bible.

We have talked about my cancer, my kids, my marriage, my life, and about dying.  We have shared secrets, some may be told after he's gone, but most of them I'll keep to myself and hold close to my heart....

 We have our own little jokes about mom or my siblings or just people in general! Dad has a great sense of humor through all this and he makes me laugh! I have come to love our little talks!

I consider it an honor that he asked me to be one of his medical POA's. (I didn't ask for, or want the job) but I consider it a privilege. I take care of his medication and work with my oldest sister and Hospice to make him comfortable and to give him the best care we possibly can! He deserves the best!

And even when some family members cause drama, spread lies, accuse us falsely and are upset because they wanted to be in charge, its heart warming to hear my dad say yet again, that he wants me.

 Its sad that he has to hear his family argue, but when he has tears in his eyes and says that He wants me (and my sister) to keep fighting for him -that alone has made Dad and my bond stronger. 

Its like he whispered to me the other day.... "You, me and God know the truth!" 

Yes, dad... we do.

I'm so thankful that he is at peace with dying. He knows who saved him and although our theology may be a little different, I believe he lived life for God, the best he could. 

He has often said he lived an interesting life and he had fun doing it! He made a living (and raised seven kids) by junking and having a small engine store and repair shop. He loved going to auctions and talking with his customers and has many friends.

When it came to spending thousands of dollars for his cancer treatment to gain maybe an extra 6 months to a year... Dad said that the thousands of dollars could help so many people in Africa or in other countries and that he is no more worthy of living than any of them are. He said "Why would anyone want to spend thousands of dollars, just to stay out of heaven?" - which when put that way, there really is no point to argue! He's right!

His newest favorite song is: 

Saved by Grace" - listen to it here!

"Some day the silver cord will break, And I no more as now shall sing; But, O the joy when I shall wake Within the presence of the King!

And I shall see Him face to face,

And tell the story, saved by grace:

And I shall see Him face to face,

And tell the story, saved by grace.

Some day my earthly house will fall,

I cannot tell how soon ‘twill be,

But this I know – my All in all

Has now a place with Him for me.

Or some day when my Lord will come, And called to meet Him I’ll be blest, He then will say to me, “Well done,” And I shall enter into rest.

Some day, till then I’ll watch and wait, My lamp all trimmed and burning bright, That when my Saviour I will greet, My faith will then be changed to sight."

On Wednesdays, when the hospice nurse leaves, she and dad have this little saying....

"Goodbye. I'll see you next week, Lord willing, if the silver cord don't break!"

So while my dad is lying on the sofa dying, he is still sharing his faith. And I'm thankful that I know that he has no doubt that he'll see Jesus face to face soon.

He's my dad and he's not perfect, but .... I'm gonna miss him when he's gone. ❤

You can read more about my dad here....