Its Complicated

Well, I done it again.... had a big argument with my teenage daughter. 

Let me insert here.... I love this girl. Period. I want what's best for her. I want her to have everything I didn't, and I want her to be happy, and successful in everything she sets out to accomplish. She is a gifted writer, player of music, singer, photographer, graphic designer, and artist. She sees the good in everyone....

But she is so very different from me. 

I am a Type 3. I see the world in black and white. I don't like people and I usually only give someone a chance once. If they mess it up, I'm done. It's over. I'm very opinionated and really don't care what other people think. I'm strong headed and can be kinda rude. It's really not worth my time arguing with you.

But she. NO. She is a Type 2 and thinks the best of everyone. She sees the world in grey.  She gives people chance after chance after chance. She never wants to hurt their feelings. She is often worried about what other people think, and hates to see others in trouble, sad, or hurting. She is sweet and kind.

 

Sometimes we can have great fun together.... she knows all my quirks and 'rhodaism's', and we are each others best friend..... I love making memories and spending time with her. She's always been my girl.... my pride and joy.

But, the older she gets, the more we butt heads at little things.... her choices in culture, movies, friends, clothing (sometimes) and even at times, her work.... it seems we have less and less in common. I've always heard it said that two woman can't live in the same house with only one kitchen, and I'm starting to understand why.

Little things like her dirty dishes in the wrong side of the sink, or her coffee maker left out on the counter drive me crazy.... you see, it's still my house, and although I'm still her mom, I'd like to think an eighteen year old can be responsible enough to put the coffee maker away without me telling her too. So some days - like today, I say nothing.... until she questions my opinion on a completely different subject at 10:00pm..... and I BLOW up!

She cries and I get mad.... 

It's hard navigating and adjusting to her being an adult, having a full time job, and spreading her wings. This is complicated. Part of her an adult, old enough to make her own choices. Part of her my kid, still needing some guidance and living in my home, needing to respect our rules and wishes.

We both yell out our side of the story and can't figure out why the other one doesn't see it our way. And after we are all done, we go our separate ways.

This is usually where I start thinking what a horrible mom I must be......

And after 20 or 30 minutes, we usually find each other and make up. Its usually me, that has more to apologize for. But after it's all said and done, at the end of the day, we are still best friends. We still love each other. And we are still trying to figure out how two adult woman can live happily in a little house with only one kitchen!

I'll always think in black and white. She'll always think in grey. But, as long as we both love each other for who we are.... I think we're gonna be just fine.... my girl and her momma.