Body Positively, Is It Too Much?

To be honest, I don't really know how I feel about body positive bloggers and instagramers.... I'm all for loving ourselves at any size/look, but at the same time, we could all use some work.... some maybe more than others... or is that just me?!?!?

Is it okay to flaunt the fact that someone is obese and loves themselves? Especially when being overweight is unhealthy? But then again, thin people can be just as unhealthy, so why is it ok for them to flaunt it? Why is it that we view skinny girls as pretty? Doesn't God love us all at any size? Aren't we supposed to take care of our bodies?

I don't know the answers, but a few weeks ago I absolutely fell in love with a post I came across on Instagram....

The following is my version, edited from @clothesandcurves - you can read the original here.

I have been married for 15 years..... and it dawned on me how many days of those years I was completely in my head about my body and my appearance. 

I spent so many days obsessing over my size, losing weight, struggling with food, and fantasizing of a skinnier and "more beautiful" me. 

I look at my husband, a man who has shown me such incredible grace..... who has loved me from 129 lbs to 241 lbs and every weight in between, and it dawned on me how selfish I've been.  

 

All those days I spent wishing that I was prettier and thinner, I could have been growing my marriage. I could
have been more playful, more engaged in the moment, more concerned about making memories, more loving, more involved, more supportive, and more present. 

..... our insecurities literally rob us of life and being our best selves. Insecurities chain us to dark places and we end up not wanting to get out in the world, have fun, be authentic, pursue our passions, etc. No more!!!!  

I pray that we would be reminded daily of our purpose and priorities. None of which are to be as thin as we can be, or to be the kind of cookie cutter pretty the world would tell us is the only acceptable beauty.  

Life is short. Live!!! 

Image credit: clothesandcurves

(I love this picture of her... and I have those same tummy/pantie lines, but looking at this picture, all I can see is her beauty and someone that is living life to the fullest!) 

You see, I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and two years ago I lost 80lb. Only to gain 25 lb of it back... I am still considered obese for my BMI. Losing weight is hard for me. I have many autoimmune diseases and cancer, and my prescriptions often mess with my hormones and weight. That, and I love food! 

I've spent most of my life being the awkward overweight, girl that never fit in... I still feel that way most of the time... I've stayed away from get togethers for the simple reason of not wanting to be the fat girl. Most mornings are spent trying to find something to wear that won't show my pantie lines on my rolled tummy.... there has been so much of my life that I've wasted because I thought I was too fat to enjoy it...

I'm not one big on exercise, to just do it for the fact of exercising. Ain't nobody got time for that... I mean even Proverbs 28:1 says "The wicked run when no one is chasing them...." so theres that......

But, I do try to live a healthy lifestyle... riding bike with my family, walks with my hubby, working in my garden, etc. (My doctor has always said exercise should be something you enjoy doing, not something you have to make yourself do). We take high quality vitamins, and protein. I try to cook homemade, and home grown, healthy food, and we limit eating out, processed foods, sugary drinks, etc., but I don't diet. I have never liked the word diet... to diet is to die, and I'm trying to live. 

A few months ago, my daughter and I got all dressed up and went out to a fancy restaurant one evening in New York City. Yes, my tummy sticks out, and I had changed out of my heals for flip flops by the time we took this picture on the hotel rooftop, but this picture reminds me of how much fun we had that night!

To be completely honest, I'd love to loose another 30 lbs, but I'm not gonna let life pass me up, because of my weight, insecurities, looks, or anything else!

No more. I'm here to live the only life I have and if that means you see tummy lines when I wear my favorite dress, or that I have to buy extra wide calf boots, or if I'm never smaller than a size 14.... it is what it is.

The first thing I thought when I saw this picture was how much my tummy sticks out.... now when I look at it, I think of how much crazy fun we were having trying to pose for our kids to get a picture and we couldn't stop laughing.... it's all in perspective.

And since I was out living life, I have all the fun memories of a day spent out with my family.... chubby tummy and all! 

So, the jury's still out on the whole body positive movement.... I think it's like anything in life.... it's all good in moderation.... and I applaud those who refuse to let weight, looks, insecurities or anything else keep them from living life to the fullest!

 I think the real issue shouldn't be shaming our bodies or flaunting our bodies. I think the it should be more about loving God and living life with whatever size of body we have.

Leave me a comment and tell me your take on it!

*Edited 10/2019 - please read this new post from Clothes and Curves. It is beautifully written and speaks truth.