Why I Wouldn't Have Kids Again

-

It's never been a secret that I do not enjoy being a mom. But when most people hear that, they think I hate my kids or that I'm a horrible person...

But the thing is... I don't say it to be mean or cruel to my kids but rather, I feel this way because my kids deserved so much more. I'm sad that the way my kids grew up wasn't the way I'd have chosen to raise them, if I knew then what I know now. I wish someone would have told me the honest truth about having kids.

You see if I could go back and do it all over, my kids would've been raised without TV, a computer or cell phones. There would have been no sweets or soda pop. No plastic toys, or barbie dolls. They would have had a structured schedule and routine. They would have been able to play sports, do Gymnastics, and go to dance and music lessons. They would have grown up in a good church, with best friends, young folks, potlucks, singing in nursing homes, and having guests over for Sunday dinner. 

They would have been raised in a community with neighbor kids their ages and lots of friends. They would've had friends spend the night, big birthday parties, long summer family vacations, and lemonade stands. They would have had sleepovers at their grandparents house with cousins, long holiday weekends with extended family, complete with baking cookies and Christmas caroling.

They would've had a dad and mom who loved to cuddle and give hugs and kisses - ones who would've taken them on camping trips, fishing, picnics and to the park. They would have had treasure hunts, play dress up and make believe.... 

 A dad and mom who read them stories every night, who wanted to get down on the floor and play with them, to listen to them, and take time for them. Parents who enjoyed small talk, a close knit family, siblings close to their age, and a home full of laughter.

A mom and dad who lived out the Bible in everyday life - who'd have a Bible verse for every situation... who had a purpose and plan for life. 

They deserve to feel needed, and important, to feel like this world was created for them. To not feel like the odd ball out, like me.

They deserve a mom that doesn't have cancer and multiple autoimmune diseases - a mom who doesn't have a chronic stress disorder - who doesn't get stressed out about every little thing. No, my kids deserve so much more than I have ever or could ever give them.

No, when I say I wish I wouldn't have had kids, its not because I don't love them. It's because I love them so much, that it hurts my heart to know that I didn't know how to raise them. That because of me, they didn't get the childhood that they should've had. 

I love them and am so very proud of them. I will always be their #1 fan!  ... but being a mom is something that will always haunt me. A reminder of what I never was and never will be - A good mom. I'm not proud of that fact, but I'm okay with being honest about it. I love my kids - but I failed miserably at being a mom. 

My kids are good kids and they deserve so much more than I can give them.... and that is the sad, but honest truth. No sugar coating it.

Comments

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear your comments:

Popular posts from this blog

Shaklee Basic H - 1001 uses

-
Image
A List of Uses for Shaklee Basic-H  Since there are over 1,001 uses it has been difficult to compile a complete list. So, here are a few to start! First, how should Basic-H generally be used? The genius of Basic-H is that it makes water, the “universal solvent,” penetrate dirt and grime more quickly while then rinsing away easily and leaving no toxic residue. Intensely concentrated, Basic-H’s cleaning power is unleashed when it is diluted in water to the strength required for the cleaning job at hand (spot-test first). GENERAL USES FOR BASIC-H2 and Basic H the Classic  CLEANING JOBS: 1/2 to 1 teaspoon to a quart of warm water WINDOWS, MIRRORS: 2 to 4 drops to a pint of water FLOORS: 2 tablespoons to 1 gallon of water BASIC-G AND BASIC-H CONCENTRATE: 3 Cups H to 1 Cup G (this mix will be diluted in water as needed) OTHER USES FOR BASIC-H Some of these uses are not approved by Shaklee. You can see their official ways to use Bas...
Read more

Crochet Pattern for Christmas Tree Skirt

-
Image
Materials:  (1) 16 oz Yarn (color of your choice) *You can use different colors of yarn. I wanted mine to match my Christmas stockings so I made it all soft white. Crochet Hook (I used size H) *You can use any type of yarn or any size hook.... (The smaller the hook, the tighter the stitches. The bigger the hook, the more yarn you will need.) Glossery: (ch = chain, sc = single crochet, dc = double crochet, st = stitch)                                Directions: Row 1: Ch 22, dc in fourth ch from hook, dc in each ch across, turn. Row 2: Ch 3 (counts as first dc), 2 dc in each st across to last st, dc in last st, turn.  Row 3: Ch 3, dc in each st across, turn. Row 4: Ch 3, 2 dc in each st across to last st, dc in last st, turn.  Row 5 - 6: Ch 3, dc in each st across, turn. Row 7: Ch 3, 2 dc in next st, (dc in next st, 2 dc in next st) across,...
Read more

Shaklee Basic H for Agriculture Use

-
Image
Agriculture Use of Shaklee Basic H Classic Nature has put everything in your soil that is necessary to grow abundant healthy plants. The most economic way to manage your soil is to add an igniter to the soil and thus begin inner action never before possible. This is where Basic H classic, a Shaklee product, comes in. Basic H is not a plant food as such, but helps get action in the soil that builds soil health. Basic H can improve water infiltration, or penetration, up to 300%. Many farmers who uses Basic H have experienced how Basic H makes “water wetter than wet.” Holding water at the root level longer will help your plants in drought or extreme conditions. Advantages of Using Basic H as a Soil Conditioner  Increases water penetration  Reduces some forms of water repellency  Reduces rain run-off and loss by evaporation Aids in eliminating standing water  Promotes uniform water penetration Advantages of Using Basic H as a Surfactant ...
Read more