Kids Need Love

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Watching love comes softly movies. I'm amazed at how the family's heritage not only passes down though the generations, but how the family dynamic changes. How family isn't always blood, and how you can always grow to love someone, given time. I love how the grandpa tells Belinda in Love's Unending Legacy that they are not there to replace any other grandparents, but that they believe that a child can never have too many people love them.


Here's the Love comes softly family tree:

Clark Davis  
 + Marti Clarridge 
             - Son Arnie Davis
      + Aaron Clarridge
             - Son Aaron Clarridge Davis
 + Ellen Barlow Davis 

             -  Missy Davis LaHaye Tyler -Daughter
               + Willy LaHaye 
                      - Adopted Son Jeff Huff LaHaye
                      - Son Mattie LaHaye  
                       - Daughter Kathy LaHaye 
               + Zac Tyler
                  - Adopted Son Jacob Marshell LaHaye Tyler
             - Adopted Daughter Belinda Marshell LaHaye Tyler 
                                                 + Drew Simpson
                          - Adopted Daughter Lilian Simpson Owens                                                   + Lee Owens
                                                      - Expecting Baby Owens

In four generations of the same family, there are 48 bloodlines. (To put that in perspective there are only 8 bloodlines in a 4 generation family that has no 2nd marriages or adoptions.)

Life back then was hard. Burying your loved ones young, was a way of life that left widows, widowers, and orphan children.

Today, mixed family's are caused by divorce, drugs, alcohol, abuse, random sex with no commitment, and rape. But, I believe the same principles back then apply to life today. Family doesn't always mean blood... Family is who you choose it to be.

Kids need love, and people to care for them. It shouldn't matter who that person is..... in this world of hurt that we live in, kids need all the love they can get. It's time to put our differences behind us and put the well being of our kids first.

Why do so many divorced parents keep the kids from seeing the non custody side of the family? I used to be one of those people... but, I've learned a lot the last 15 years. 

As a previously divorced mom, I wish now, that I'd have done things differently... I took grandparents, aunts and a biological dad away from my kid because I was afraid of the unknown, and because I thought my kid was better off with me. Don't get me wrong - I know she was/is better off with me - but looking back I deprived my kid of even more love - and for that I will always feel guilty.

I had full custody of my daughter. Her birth father never asked for visitation. Once he was out of our life, he remarried, than a year later, I remarried. I wanted to keep my little girl safe. I became over protective. I never again took her to see her birth fathers side of the family. I thought I was doing the right thing. I WAS WRONG! - Kids need all the love they can get.

Now, to be clear my ex husband's families values don't fit in with how I choose to live my life. However, they are not bad people. You see my daughter could have grown up knowing a wonderful caring grandpa, a step grandma, and two fun aunts who would have loved and doted on her. And a few cousins. Instead, I kept my daughter to myself. Never once thinking that I was destroying her chances at having more love in her life.

Is her life ruined? No. I remarried when my daughter was 4 yrs old. She has a wonderful dad who adopted her when she was five. She gained a set of grandparents and 5 great grandparents, lots of great aunts and uncles and other extended family. She is thriving. She is an artist, violinist, pianist, guitarist, and a gifted writer. I know that I did the best I could for her.... I just wish I could have opened my eyes to letting more people love her.

kids just need to be loved... it shouldn't matter who does the loving....

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