Dying....
Today has been hard for me.... there were alot of tears. I don't like getting old, and I don't like that people I care about are dying... our friend and neighbor passed away this week. Brooklyn_speaks went home to be with Jesus today.... another friend of ours is losing his battle with ALS and got his feeding tube put in this month... I feel overwhelmed that for me, I know my place in that line will come sooner than later. My death sentence makes me angry... I have kids that need me. I want to travel and see the world. I want to watch my kids grow up... to see my grandkids and great-grandkids. I want to enjoy retirement with my hubby. I want to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary together. I want to do something good with my life. I get tired of fighting with doctors, getting pricked with needles and the ever changing doses of medication. I'm tired of being exhausted every single day. I feel guilty for just about everything I do, and everything I don't d...